Another day, another gay teen takes his life because of bullying. These poor kids can't see it ever getting better and it doesn't help that many of our political leaders on the right take to gay bashing, calling homosexuals evil deviants and even promoting religious bullying. But it does get better, it just takes time, no matter what is causing you mental harm at this point in your life.
I'm not gay, and can't imagine what these kids go through on a daily basis, but I've had my moments of darkness. It was during college, the semester after my dad died suddenly of a heart attack. My college years basically sucked -- my first 2 1/2 years started with my younger brother dying in a car accident, losing my grandmothers and then my dad. The car accident was especially bitter as, not only did I lose my brother, but it involved common friends so I had virtually no peers to help me get through the situation. After my father's death, my mother's health began to decline and I, as the eldest, started feeling the pressure to become the parent. Though I didn't realize it at the time, it had all taken a toll on me and I was really depressed and was taking it out on food. I had gained weight and was getting pretty big before I finally decided it was time to climb out of the hole I was in and started getting my act back together. Diet and exercise became my mantra and the weight slowly started coming off (it took me over a year, but by time I graduated college I had lost 65 pounds).
One morning, not long after I decided it was time to watch what I eat and start getting serious about school again, I was having a small breakfast in the Student Union when this cute girl came up and said she wanted to ask me a question. Finally, things are looking up. She and her friend wanted to know, looking at my breakfast, if that was all I was going to eat. I said yes and asked why she wanted to know. No, reason, just curious. A few seconds later, after she walked away. I got that I was the butt of a joke.
Not necessarily hateful but not really funny at that point in my life. Now, almost 25 years later, I still remember that person who saw someone when they were down and decided it would be a good time to make fun of him.
As far as I know I never ran into those girls again. I don't even remember what they looked like. I do remember the SU, where I was sitting and what I was eating and reading. It did send me back into my funk, it was another few months until I really started losing the weight again. And then it was not long after that that my now wife started at the school (though we didn't meet until a few years later) so I now look at that period as the darkness before the dawn.
I'm not gay, and can't imagine what these kids go through on a daily basis, but I've had my moments of darkness. It was during college, the semester after my dad died suddenly of a heart attack. My college years basically sucked -- my first 2 1/2 years started with my younger brother dying in a car accident, losing my grandmothers and then my dad. The car accident was especially bitter as, not only did I lose my brother, but it involved common friends so I had virtually no peers to help me get through the situation. After my father's death, my mother's health began to decline and I, as the eldest, started feeling the pressure to become the parent. Though I didn't realize it at the time, it had all taken a toll on me and I was really depressed and was taking it out on food. I had gained weight and was getting pretty big before I finally decided it was time to climb out of the hole I was in and started getting my act back together. Diet and exercise became my mantra and the weight slowly started coming off (it took me over a year, but by time I graduated college I had lost 65 pounds).
One morning, not long after I decided it was time to watch what I eat and start getting serious about school again, I was having a small breakfast in the Student Union when this cute girl came up and said she wanted to ask me a question. Finally, things are looking up. She and her friend wanted to know, looking at my breakfast, if that was all I was going to eat. I said yes and asked why she wanted to know. No, reason, just curious. A few seconds later, after she walked away. I got that I was the butt of a joke.
Not necessarily hateful but not really funny at that point in my life. Now, almost 25 years later, I still remember that person who saw someone when they were down and decided it would be a good time to make fun of him.
As far as I know I never ran into those girls again. I don't even remember what they looked like. I do remember the SU, where I was sitting and what I was eating and reading. It did send me back into my funk, it was another few months until I really started losing the weight again. And then it was not long after that that my now wife started at the school (though we didn't meet until a few years later) so I now look at that period as the darkness before the dawn.
I really wish I had something to say to the teens who feel there is no way out but, aside from hanging on, I don't. This was only a few years out of my life, but it had a big affect on me. Still I stuck it out and waited for this brief period of darkness to end. For the gay teens I can only suggest the same. We live on average 75-80 years and as you get older this brief period will become relatively insignificant in the hopefully rich tapestry of your full life. It does get better.
The real words should be spoken to the haters. To the closet homosexuals and other homophobes who feel they need to gay bash to secure their own mainstream sexuality, stop it, you're not fooling anybody. To those who say God doesn't like homosexuals I remind them that homosexuals are God's children too. If God (assuming there is one of course) hates homosexuals, why does He keep making them?
The real words should be spoken to the haters. To the closet homosexuals and other homophobes who feel they need to gay bash to secure their own mainstream sexuality, stop it, you're not fooling anybody. To those who say God doesn't like homosexuals I remind them that homosexuals are God's children too. If God (assuming there is one of course) hates homosexuals, why does He keep making them?
As to those who say gay marriage is against what society has accepted as marriage, I remind them that the mainstream idea that marriage is for love is fairly recent. It wasn't all that long ago that marriage was for economic only reasons, arranged by parents. Do the terms marriage of convenience or arranged marriage sound familiar? What about polygamy and polyandry? How about the illegalities of interracial marriage? At one time these were all accepted and, for some, not all that long ago. Yet today, all that seems ridiculous.
To our leaders whose words virtually condone a life of taunts, mental abuse, physical attacks and alienation for gays I say you are no leaders and should be ashamed of yourselves. And to those who say mankind will not survive if men marry men and women marry women due to their not being able to reproduce, I say with over 7 billion people raping the resources of this planet, a few less people wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. Finally, to basically force our children to leave their homes to move to a bigger city or town where their sexuality is more readily accepted is wrong.
As to the girls who got me that day, I really don't care what happened to them. This bullying of teens due to their sexuality is a stain on our society and should be ended. Hopefully the bullied teens will be able to look back as I can and say I can't believe I let a few idiots get me. It does get better.
