Memories

My wife's great uncle, the brother of her grandmother, passed away a few weeks after a long and rich life, seven months after his wife of 63 years passed. In lieu of a funeral, his children decided to have a family/friend get together at their parents' home -- one final party, which they loved to give, for the road. And, but for my wife's great aunt and uncle hosting, it was one of their better parties. Full house, the great grandchildren and great grand nieces and nephews snuck off through the woods behind the house to the playground, just as their parents and grandparents had done for the last half century, while the older relatives hung around the house and chatted as usual, thinking, in the back of their minds, that as long as everyone had a good time Aunt Jeanne and Uncle Paul would be pleased.

One thing the children did, to set this off as a goodbye over a regular family get together, was bring out the old family photos. Some of those family photos dated back to the 1920s, when my wife's grandmother, Bea, and Uncle Paul, were children themselves. Now Bea died at a very young age, in her very early 40s, from a tumor that could've easily been operated on today, when my mother-in-law and her sister were still children, so Paul ended up with all of the family photos. Fast forward to a few weeks ago and my wife was looking at photos of her grandmother she had seen only briefly over the years (the photos were always available, it was just that we were so busy visiting Jeanne and Paul that we never looked through them). We looked through them and were amazed at the family resemblances. I had never seen pictures of my grandmother-in-law and was amazed at the resemblance to my wife and her mother. Years ago, when my wife and I were first dating, I was at her mother's and saw a black and white photo of my wife and asked her when she had black hair. It turned out the photo was of her mother in her 20s. Well talk about deja vue because I saw the same thing with her mother's mother - but for the clothing and the 1930s car in the background of one picture, I thought I could have been looking at a picture of my wife. More amusing, when I looked at a picture of Bea at around age 2 or 3, I could see my daughter looking back at me (she also looks like my sister, though after looking at that photo I see more of my wife's side).

Anyway, my wife borrowed several dozen photos from my mother-in-law's cousin to make copies of. More specifically, since I'm the one who is our home's IT administrator, she borrowed several dozen photos from my mother-in-law's cousin for me to make copies of on our computer's scanner. So, the other evening, I set about making copies of photos of people I didn't know, outside of Uncle Paul.

As I started scanning, our children walked in to see what I was up to. I just happened to have scanned a picture of Paul as a boy into our computer and explained I was copying some photos of their great grand uncle as child. Now our children, who only knew Uncle Paul as a good natured very old man who made weird sounds (he entertained many small children the last few decades with a singing, growling sound - our son hated it, our daughter loved it) with quite a few wrinkles, were amused when I showed them pictures of him when he was their age. That reminded me of the time, many years ago, when my grandmother showed my brothers, sister and me a picture of our grandfather as a baby. Aside from the lack of hair of both the baby and our grandfather, we refused to believe that was him, even after Grandpa swore it was him. After they left, I thought for a second that I could sympathize.

You see, I also met Uncle Paul as an older man, well into his 70s by time I met my wife. I of course had seen photos of Paul as a young child through old age over the years, including some of the ones I was scanning in. But scanning them in forced me to look at them a little closer. I looked at the pictures of my daughter and son, I mean my wife's great uncle and grandmother, in a small wagon, hugging each other as my wife's great grandmother leaned over them. I looked at various pictures of my wife, I mean her grandmother, posing with Uncle Paul -- sorry, the ears don't fit elsewhere -- and her parents. I saw my wife's grandmother with a beloved doll from the 1920s and saw our daughter hugging her Dora the Explorer doll. My mother in law still lives in the general area her mother grew up in so any buildings in the background of the photos look like they do today, outside of awnings over windows (then) and window air conditioners (now), further adding to my deju vue feeling. You get the picture I'm sure.

Anyway, as I scanned the photos I started seeing not just some people, some long gone, but a family just like mine -- mom, dad, a son and a daughter. The pictures of Hannah, my wife's great grandmother, reminded me of similar pictures I have of my wife and our children, especially when Uncle Paul was wearing his Harry Potter glasses at age 7 or 8, with his 3 or 4 year old sister, just as his 7 year old great grand nephew wears similar glasses in pictures with his 3 year old great grand niece. With the exception of Paul, I knew none of these folks yet after staring at them as I fixed flaws in 80 year old photos, I feel as if I do, to an extent. I knew Uncle Paul grieved his younger sister's early demise, he out lived her by a half century, just as I still grieve my younger brother's passing in a car accident when we were teens over 20 years ago but I felt his pain as I scanned in the photo of Paul and Bea, as young adults in 1937. Bea was looking away, but Paul was looking at her with affection, the way any older brother would upon realizing that the little annoying brat was now a beautiful woman.

There weren't many more of those photos after that. Unlike today, when it seems every moment is recorded on some camera somewhere, photos were usually taken only at special occasions. WWII soon interrupted and when that was done Paul was back with his war bride ready to begin his family. Bea also married around then and soon gave birth to my mother in law. However, scanning in those photos brought me back into that "nuclear" family of the 1920s and 1930s.