Mommy track

I was reading an article in the NY Times about the mommy penalty, though not necessarily from anti-mommy discrimination, working mothers face in pay and compensation. The article contained a section for readers to comment. Of course, the first one blasted working mothers for not working weekends or until 8 at night.

Even before I had children I never would take a job that required me to work weekends or stay late on a regular basis (I exclude from this the hour or so I take some Sunday evenings to clear out my email). Of course, that means my pay is lower (I’m an attorney earning nowhere near the salary I could if I had chosen a more stressful path) but my life is my own, something even more important to me now that I have children. I don’t know where some of these people with the insane hours work or what they do but it sounds unpleasant. One of the benefits in obtaining the skills to work in a high paying job is also the benefit of finding a position where I am able to work for less money but much more flexible time.

I work in an office that offers the same benefits to parents and non-parents alike (flex hours, telecommuting etc). It also offers the same pay. I’ve never noticed parents getting special breaks, if you have to leave early for an appointment, whether its for yourself or a child, doesn't make a difference. As long as the work/project is done when due, all is well. Instead of whining about the mommies leaving early, maybe those people should be considering a job that doesn’t require crazy hours.

While I do work at home half the time, the rest of the time requires me to work in an office over an hour from our home. My wife, on the other hand, works in the adjoining town, 10 minutes from home. So, on the days I'm in the office and an emergency arises with one of my children, my wife is forced to leave work early. Of course, left unsaid, is my wife is using up her sick or vacation time for these events. Like many families with both parents working, we haven't had a long vacation in many years, mostly because we have to use our time off at small chunks. She also does not stay late as my commute gets me home after the after school care programs are done for the day and we really don't feel like finding out what the child abandonment laws in NJ really are.

No complaints, it is the life we chose, but I really miss two week vacations, going to shows on weekends and having money to spend on ourselves. And, once the children are grown, I will happily work during school vacation weeks again. I loved those nice quiet weeks in the office, catching up on paperwork while the phones and email fell quiet, and then taking a nice cheap trip in the fall when all the families are stuck home due to school schedules.