Survey says!

A survey of women finds that the average ideal man isn't a vegetarian, prefers beer to wine/cocktails, doesn't smoke, makes makes more than she does, calls his mom twice a week and only takes 9 minutes to get to the gym, which he does frequently. I decided to see how I stacked up:

6'0": Uh oh
Short brown hair: what's left of it.
Brown eyes: Oh dear
Muscular: Yes, under the fat.
Clean shaven: Some times.
Smooth chest: No, the fat left some bumps.
Good fashion: My now wife quietly got rid of most of my clothes after we started dating and hasn't let me really buy anything since.
Can get ready in fewer than 17 minutes: Ready for what? Some things take less time than others.
Wears jeans: Check
Wears v-neck sweater: Nope.

Non-Smoker: Check
Prefers beer over wine/cocktails: Scotch
Admits when he looks at other women: I look but don't really look. Usually if my wife asks "did you see the way she was dressed?" I hadn't. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Eats meat: Not as much as I used to. Also don't weigh as much as I used to.

College degree: And then some
Earns more than you: She works for the state and is union. No way I can match that.
Drives an Audi: Subaru. When you live in the NE and have kids you get practical. It's nice to have a car go "bring it on" when you have to rush a kid to the doctor/hospital during a snowstorm

Loves shopping: Home Depot, the Apple Store, Costco, Barnes & Noble -- check. 21 Forever, hell no.
Watches football: Check. It's good to be a Giants fan.
Can swim/bike: Check
Can change a tire: If I can get the f***ing lug nuts off
Has driver's license: Check. But if we still lived in Brooklyn not having a license wouldn't be the end of the world,
Likes dramas and reality shows: Some I do.
Can get to the gym in under 9 minutes: I can get to the treadmill in the garage in 2 minutes.

Calls mom 2x/week: Since she had her stroke a few years back, she has a lot of trouble communicating. So instead we visit every three weeks or so.
Says I love you only when he means it: We're married almost 15 years.
Is sensitive when you're upset. See last answer.
Has a good sense of humor: Well that depends on the person, now doesn't it?
Wants a family: Got one already. What we really want is someone to watch the kids for the weekend so we can get away now and then for grownup time.

In other words, 43 year old married nerd.