Healing

I know that at least a few people are following this blog and as the last few posts have been about me and my issues, with a side trip to a recent news event, I thought I'd do a quick update on my wife. [Note: April 2013: If you have been reading this blog, you will notice many entries since July, where I wrote of how the chemotherapy was affecting my wife's moods for the worse. When I originally posted this in October, things were still rocky from her cancer treatments.Things are better now so I decided to delete, from public view, all that I wrote. Those posts were a big help to me and helped me reflect on what I needed to do to make me a better person. The chemo was rough but it did help us clear the air and start rebuilding, almost like a forest fire clears out the dead wood so a new forest can emerge. I still have a ways to go, but I am on my way. - DD]

If it was the breast cancer, then it probably helps that she is done with the worst of the chemo. The bi-monthly doxorubicin and cyclophosphamide  portion of her treatment, which is so toxic that there is a lifetime dosage limit is done. And while the weekly paclitaxel treatment is no walk in the park, it is much easier on her, though it does leave her more tired. It has also put her into menopause, which is a whole other story. But, while she didn't want me driving her to chemotherapy at the start because she wanted to be alone, she recently suggested that maybe I could (or should) start coming with her again (partially because she is more tired and finds it harder to drive home). The paclitaxel is leaving her much more exhausted, possibly because it is weekly (or they are giving her too much benadryl) and the cumulative affects are adding up. As it will continue through mid-December (little break around Thanksgiving), she is starting to realize her energy levels can't keep up (I do wonder how much this aging her -- good things she works out and eats healthy, I'd hate to see what this would do to someone who isn't staying as fit as possible).

For now I am just happy that we are in a healing period. Our daughter's broken arm continues to mend, she is even able to restart dance now that she is in a permanent cast, though no hand stands yet. The drugs in my wife's body continues to poison whatever microscopic cancer cells may still be hanging out. The celexa my doctor prescribed continues to heal my bio-chemical imbalance in my mind.

I had been saying that 2012 sucks due to all the bad things that happened this year -- our pet turtle dying, a leak in the slab under our wood floors, our daughter breaking her arm and, of course, my wife's diagnosis and lumpectomy for breast cancer. My wife disagrees, feeling 2011 was the bad year as that is when she started getting sick and that 2012 is the good year as this was the year she became a survivor. Good attitude and if we somehow manage to get through this with a marriage stronger than ever, I will agree. For now, while the verdict looks promising, the judge is still out.