My wife couldn't get her chemo today due to a low white count. Her numbers were only 800, apparently doctors get concerned when the number is below 1,000. On the plus side she wasn't admitted to the hospital. For now, it seems that the medical staff is taking a wait and see attitude. On the home front I'll have to see what we can do.
For now I've changed our weekly food (I cook for the week on the weekend) to something heavy in spinach, kale, navy beans and other ingredients that are good for producing white blood cells. I've added more of her chores to mine (never enough) but the real thing she needs is sleep. Problem is our children are still young(ish) and like for her to read bedtime stories. I've suggested she give that up and go to bed earlier but she refuses, saying it would upset the kids (truth is, I think she likes the down time with them). We're avoiding visiting my mother, who is in a nursing home. I'm included to make sure I don't bring anything home, though as my wife works with the public I'm not sure if that really makes a difference. Making physical changes is easy, mental ones are harder.
I did make one mistake though, concerning her abilities to do things on her own versus me working at home more to help her out. I recently applied for a managerial position at my company's headquarters that went to somebody else. My director and I spoke about why I didn't get a promotion recently (I was one of the finalists, guy who got it is equally qualified, if not better as he worked in a law firm much more recently than I) and one reason was the bad timing here as I really didn't want to commute to NYC more than 3 days a week. They knew about my wife's condition and know I'm a bit distracted. Truth is, for the money they were offering, a 4-5 day a week commute wouldn't have been financially rewarding and I would have only taken the position for a resume filler (that and I really was interested in the job), but I let them think my wife's condition would prevent me from going in more than three days a week. A no harm, no foul type of thing as I would be looked upon as someone interested in moving up but for temporary personal issues in my family.
When I mentioned that to my wife, she asked me if I blamed her for not getting the promotion, noting that she could do everything with the kids on her own if need be. Whoops. I apologized as soon as I realized how my comments were seen by her. While it is true I am happy taking on more responsibilities and giving her more time to rest, exercise etc, that telecommuting gives me (her office is 10 min from the house, mine is an hour), I rather enjoy the work/life balance telecommuting gives me and, at our older ages, commuting to Manhattan more than a few days a week no longer appeals to me. At least I am getting better at realizing when I've put my foot in my mouth and said something hurtful. Still, I have to admit, if we lived closer to Manhattan (or still in the city) and there weren't family issues right now, I would have been more disappointed I didn't get the promotion but I've come to believe that things happen or don't happen for a reason. It is better for my entire family that my schedule remains flexible for now and my wife is better able to heal.
I did make one mistake though, concerning her abilities to do things on her own versus me working at home more to help her out. I recently applied for a managerial position at my company's headquarters that went to somebody else. My director and I spoke about why I didn't get a promotion recently (I was one of the finalists, guy who got it is equally qualified, if not better as he worked in a law firm much more recently than I) and one reason was the bad timing here as I really didn't want to commute to NYC more than 3 days a week. They knew about my wife's condition and know I'm a bit distracted. Truth is, for the money they were offering, a 4-5 day a week commute wouldn't have been financially rewarding and I would have only taken the position for a resume filler (that and I really was interested in the job), but I let them think my wife's condition would prevent me from going in more than three days a week. A no harm, no foul type of thing as I would be looked upon as someone interested in moving up but for temporary personal issues in my family.
When I mentioned that to my wife, she asked me if I blamed her for not getting the promotion, noting that she could do everything with the kids on her own if need be. Whoops. I apologized as soon as I realized how my comments were seen by her. While it is true I am happy taking on more responsibilities and giving her more time to rest, exercise etc, that telecommuting gives me (her office is 10 min from the house, mine is an hour), I rather enjoy the work/life balance telecommuting gives me and, at our older ages, commuting to Manhattan more than a few days a week no longer appeals to me. At least I am getting better at realizing when I've put my foot in my mouth and said something hurtful. Still, I have to admit, if we lived closer to Manhattan (or still in the city) and there weren't family issues right now, I would have been more disappointed I didn't get the promotion but I've come to believe that things happen or don't happen for a reason. It is better for my entire family that my schedule remains flexible for now and my wife is better able to heal.
But, to put everything in perspective, these are a minor setbacks, for now. A woman I went to high school with has been battling angiosarcoma for several years. Most recently she was clean and ready to live again. Earlier this week she went for routine scans. Today she got the results; it spread to her lungs and she needs to start chemotherapy again -- today. I don't know what her prognosis but the general long term prognosis for angiosarcoma is not too good. Hopefully we never find out how that is.
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